Creating a Business and a Brand from Home
Episode 49: Creating a Business and a Brand from Home with Tori Sprankel
Whether you are a stay-at-home mom or a mom who works outside the home, all moms are working hard! This week Rachael and friend Tori Sprankel, a brand expert and business owner, chat all about building a business while taking care of young children at home. They discuss the challenges and gray areas of being a working mom or a stay-at-home mom, and how the lines are blurred for so many of us in a post-pandemic world.
Here’s what they discuss inside this episode:
Tori shares her personal journey of transitioning from a corporate job to becoming a stay-at-home mom in Hawaii to eventually starting her own business
The importance of the people you surround yourself with while building your business
Role reversal and who’s the breadwinner?! We discuss our stay at home dad husbands!
The challenges and rewards of being a WFH mom
Balancing motherhood, finding support, and overcoming mom guilt
Creating a business (and a life!) that aligns with your values and goals
& so much more!
Meet Tori Sprankle! She’s an expert at personal brands for go-to girlies + her obsession is turning that pretty little pinterest board of yours into the brand you’ve always dreamed of. She loves working with women who need that boost of brand magic to back up their killer service suite that the world desperately needs. She specializes in lighting-fast turnaround to help her clients show-up efficiently, confidently and consistently where it matters most these days: online. As a mom to two girls, she believes in showing them that corporate America isn't the only place to make a living - and that having the freedom and courage to change lives through your own dreams is worth more than any traditional career path.
Mentioned in this episode:
Tori’s website: https://www.torisprankel.com/
Tori’s instagram: https://www.instagram.com/torisprankel/
Check out Tori’s work in action on Rachael’s Instagram, in her Substack Nap Trapped, and on this very podcast (Tori designed our cover art!) as well as the HSB website.
Listen to the full episode
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Welcome back to No One Told Us, the podcast that tells the truth about parenting and talks about all the stuff you wish you knew before having your kids. I'm your host, Rachael, and today I'm speaking with dear friend and brand expert, my, like, ride or die for all of my design, Tori Sprankel. She's an expert at personal brands for go -to girlies, and her obsession is turning that pretty little Pinterest board of yours into the brand you've always dreamed of.
Tori loves working with women who need that boost of brand magic to back up their killer service suite that the world desperately needs. And she specializes in lightning fast turnaround times, which is perfect for me because I feel like I'm always throwing new projects at you and you're just like, yeah, like let's do it. Tori is amazing. We're gonna talk all about building a business while home with babies. And I'm so excited to dive into this conversation. So thank you so much for joining.
Yes, thank you for having me. I am also very excited. I love talking about business and babies because I feel like it's not often, they're not often put in the same sentence. You know,
it's either business or babies and not business and babies. And I am, and you are as well, making a living off of business and babies. So I - I like to dive into that.
It's such a cool thing to talk about too, because there seems to be this divide, right? Where it's you're either a working mom or you're a stay -at -home mom. And I think there could be so much gray area there. And I think especially post COVID, there is so much gray area where there's, you know, moms who are the sole caretaker, but they're also working from home. And there's all these unique situations. So I'm excited to hear kind of your journey and your tips or really building a business from the ground up while having really little kids at home. So what's like your background? What kind of got you into this space in the first place?
Yeah, well, you mentioned COVID. So that is a part of the journey, of course, as is with all of us,
I think most of the time these days. But before that, so I worked in corporate as a creative director. I worked in specialty food package design. and so I worked with basically companies who private label for like Trader Joe's and William Sonoma and some of those bigger specialty food companies and so I was there before kids I was like really riding that career path and of course would like stress when I got pregnant and would think about how do I pick up my kid at 2 p .m. from elementary school when I have to work till five or six o 'clock.
So it's like that pressure of like being a mom and having a career was like, even before the kid came, I was like stressing about the duality of it. And so I stayed in the corporate. I had my first child, Rowan, and I remember like constantly being really upset, taking her to childcare and then heading into the office and it was just a really tough time. You know, your first child having postpartum depression, I had like a really traumatic birth experience that ended in a C -section and then breastfeeding issues. And I'll go into all of that because that is a part of my why now.
But I had all of that happening and I was like, this cannot be it. Like this cannot be the rest of my life, like working like this. I want more kids like how do people like function like this when like I knew kind of like what the top of my career path was going to be as a creative director and I was like almost there before 30 and so it was just like what do I do like what do I do next and so I actually took an opportunity with my sister who is in the military she was transferred to Hawaii as a nurse and our kids our babies were the same age and I was like I'm coming with just so you know and so we had zero plans except for that I was gonna help her with childcare because it was like year -long wait lists in Hawaii and it was just expensive and so I was like I'm just gonna come with you.
I'll pay you know John and I at John could transfer his job and so we went out there and again zero plans and my job said nope we're going to keep you on remotely- I would like to full benefits full salary everything stays the same you're just living in Hawaii and so I think first of all that was like a testament to okay you do good work with good people and like karma can will continue to follow you… and so I did that for two years and then COVID happened and we were pregnant with number two Hazel… and so it was just like all these things happening at once and because of COVID my job essentially dissolved into like a contractor with no guarantee of work no benefits nothing.
And so I'm just like okay be adaptable let's figure this out but of course I had that like pity party moment where I had to sit and finally realize okay I'm I cannot hop on indeed again. I cannot go through another interview. I cannot sit in a cubicle again. I cannot do this… and so I sat and I remember breastfeeding or attempting to breastfeed Hazel at night with one hand and building a square space website with the other hand, like I literally remember sitting on the couch doing this. It was the wildest time, but I had so much drive. Like I remember not feeling tired because I was just like, this feels so right. Like I can't explain it. I don't know what it's gonna look like, but I just need to follow it through.
And not long after we were introduced with our dear friend, Cara Ann. And it was, I don't know, it just like, it kind of showed me this whole Instagram world that I didn't know existed of moms running businesses online. And I was like, I didn't even know this was a thing and that people needed support in this way. And I could find people who were actually like trying to do the same thing I'm doing. So it was, it was great that this like structure already existed in this world. And I wasn't trying to like figure out this like digital space without other people.
But it kind of was just like, okay, this is my community. This is where we are. And so that's where the mom space kind of like picked up. And I kind of rejected it at first. And that's a part of the story with the group program I do now. It was really, I wanted to like get away from the whole mom side of my life and like have it separated so much that it felt like this was business Tori and this was mom Tori. And so I rejected the motherhood side like the clients that would come in for a while because it felt like I was just turning into mom Tori everywhere I was in my life.
And now I realize like all of these moms running businesses really struggle with separating that but also being true to themselves without kids. And so anyway, it's just like this whole journey of reading the audience, listening to what people are saying and totally listening to myself and like what I need as a mom and a human 'cause we're all like living the same journey together at the same time.
Yeah. So we initially got connected because Kara Ann who I had met with just the Instagram boom of like all these mom creator things and we went through the same sleep course and stuff like that. And she was like, oh, you should enter this giveaway that my friend is doing and you were doing a giveaway for like a mini brand kit or something and I had done nothing professional at that point .And I won… and that was how we started working together and you like did an amazing job on this little free giveaway brand kit And I was like, okay, I need more. Like, please just take this and run with it. And that was how like my first real
That feels forever.
Around to branding went. I know, I mean, it was, that was like four years ago. I guess not that long ago, but like feels like a different lifetime. And yeah, since then you've done like all of my web design, all of my rebrands, my podcast, my new sub-stack brand, like everything and you're so talented. But it is funny that you said that because Obviously people ask me now all the time who does your branding? Who does your website? Like, everybody wants to know. And I'm always, always sending them your way, of course, but I'm like, Oh my God, Tori's going to get so sick of sleep consultant brands. All of these girls are going to her.
That is okay. And so that's part of where so I'm now leaning into this personal brand side of things, not because it's a buzzword at this point, but because all of last year, I just on a personal level looked at my life and I was like, I do not see any signs of this higher self that I am aspiring to be in my life. Like I am not the girl who goes and takes a morning walk. I don't drink enough water. I'm not reading my books. Like I'm not doing all these things that I like want to be doing. And so I just started doing that and sharing the journey and just realized okay this personal brand thing is so valid….. that send me all the sleep consultants because I see it as a personal challenge at this point that…..
To make them stand out yes I'm like I. My goal is to every sleep consultant every nutritionist every therapist like I get a handful of like all these different similar industries which is niching in general. But I want to make sure that they all know exactly their place and their purpose in this space. Because there is room at the table for everybody. And there are sleep consultants that-- or moms who gravitate towards certain sleep consultants or certain nutritionists,
just based on energy and vibe and interest. And that's exactly what your personal brand does anyway.
But I think figuring that out as a mom is the challenge. So we're like so stuck in this, what are we doing as a mom? Is our kid homeschooled? Are they on track? What activities are they doing? Who's eating what? And really it needs to be like am I fully taken care of as a human and feel like I'm fulfilling this life as well as being a mom and helping them fulfill theirs.
Yeah, I love that. We're gonna be right back and we're gonna talk a little bit about your recent switch to becoming the breadwinner for your family and having your husband be a stay at home dad will be right back.
So before the break, Tori was talking a little bit about her background and but led you to this place really, where now you're able to work kind of full time, I guess. And John recently stopped working and is home now with the girls, just like Marley, stay at home dads, we love to see it. What was the journey like for you guys to kind of come to that decision?
So it was a lot of conversation. I feel like it was a year or more of conversations, just like, can we do it now? What does that look like? 'Cause it's so scary going from two incomes to one.
But it's obviously hindsight once you do it, you realize, oh my gosh, well, I can do so much more in my business now that I have support at home. But it was always that like balance of support. Like how do I get support? Where do I get it? How can I squeeze in an hour or two of work here?
We moved back to Georgia after Hawaii and COVID and my mother -in -law lives like 10 minutes away so she takes my youngest Hazel during the day while my oldest is at school but because John is at home and has been at home for a year now, we're deciding to now move into a homeschool phase because we can and do that….. but it was a lot and I'm sure the same with like you and Marley, like it was like every night around the dinner table or every little walk that we had around the neighborhood, it's like, okay, what does this look like?
What like literally financially, what is the bare minimum I need to make when you come home for us to survive? And it has just way exceeded our expectations.
I mean, and John likes to joke that he had to come home because our four year old is still in our bed. So that is the only time we get mommy daddy time and so during the day when they're gone…. It's like this is our time together. But yeah, so it's you know, it's so wonderful and it's so terrifying before you take that leap but I think having a partner who is not so Gender role focused or has an ego about being the man and the breadwinner is key in that because we are a true partnership.
Sure, he does dishes most of the time. He will do school pick up and drop off, but even just last night, so he does help me with some of the client work on, like we have some retainer clients and so he will help me on like the back end side of things. And he was working on stuff last night as the kids were like getting ready for bed and I was like okay this…. I can do the dishes….. like I haven't done the dishes in months but I guess I can do the dishes he's working.
You know and at that moment it really clicked that like okay we at this point it feels like this partnership and it's not you're a team you're a team and in the beginning of I'm sure Marley coming home home too, it was how do I define these roles and whose job is whose and how do I do it without making you feel like the housekeeper or like you know like I don't want you to feel bad about whatever I'm asking you to do like….. I want you to feel fulfilled and have passion still and all of those things but I think it just takes time you know.
And so we John being home for a year now as the time we can talk about home school it wasn't, You know week one when he got home. So it's just like let's learn how to live in this space for a little bit before we like try something new.
But yeah, that makes total sense and I love hearing that because you guys yeah, it's been a year for you…. It's been about six seven months for us and we're kind of like just starting to find a good groove now. It definitely took longer than we thought it would to settle in.
You have more kids.
I think a lot of us just Yeah, we have one extra kid, but also it's funny because the days where he gets to just hang with her are like his favorite. He just absolutely loves, you know, the days that he gets to ride around the city and take her to the parks and contact nap with her and like he is absolutely loving that aspect. I think the part that's been hardest for us is like how to divide all the other stuff. So like the picking up toys and you know all of that kind of crap where it's just like and it's totally on me where I am like dude I was doing all of this and also running a business at the same time….. you're only having to do one of those things so like let's get it together let's have the house be like picked up and it's so unfair of me to have expectations on him just because I did something one way doesn't mean he has to do it the same way so I'm really trying to not like micromanage, but it's hard.
It is hard, and I don't know if you ever feel this way. Sometimes I notice when I get really annoyed that maybe something isn't done, or I come down from the office and just dinner's not ready, nobody is doing what they're supposed to be doing, the house is a wreck, and in that moment I have to be like, okay, if I was the stay -at -home parent, would I want him coming down and being angry at me.
And so-- -
Oh my God, I know. And that makes me feel like a monster.
Yes, because that's the whole, that's why stay -at -home moms are rioting because like, dads are not treating them right.
Yes, exactly. Yeah, no, it's so true. And he's even said that to me like, Rachael, if I said that to you as a stay -at -home parent, you would leave me. Like, you can't talk like this.
God, I'm so mean to John.
You can't have these wild expectations. I'm so mean because it's just, I have such high expectations of myself and I project those onto others and I just, I don't know. I feel like as women in business, we just have this gene or something where we are just so efficient. We can do so many things at once. And so when other people can't, it's just like, why? What's wrong with you? Get it together. But that role reversal piece is helpful.
I just had that conversation with my sister because I had like an hour and I was like okay I have an hour I know the dishes need to be done I know the laundry needs to be done like all these things and in my head after I did all of that with time to spare…. I was like there's no way John Sprankel could do this in an hour there's no way….
Never never but yes we are monsters I know but I also think about it as, you know how like kids, when they come home from school, they're like the meanest to their mom because it's like the safe space. And so that's what I tell John. I'm like, John, you're my safe space. That's why I can talk to you that way.
That's why I mean to you 'cause I love you so much.
'Cause you won’t leave me. (both laughing)
It's, yeah, they're special guys for, A, you know, like you said, putting that ego aside and being willing to be home with the kids, but also for putting up with us. They shout out to Marley and John. You guys are great. We love you so much.
We're the real children.
Yeah, exactly. Dealing with me is so much worse than dealing with any of our kids. But anyway, so I would love to hear more, though, about kind of how you got to a space where this was feasible for you. I just I love hearing about how people kind of like build their business. And So what do you think was the thing that really helped you kind of take off and get to a place where it was, you know, a feasibility for you financially?
Yeah, so it, you know, I don't know how to necessarily talk about success and business without internally kind of feeling like I never want to feel braggy about anything. But I think the way I structured my business and where I invested early really set the tone for how my business grew. And so I was like really diligent in investing in people who knew how to run the design business early on. I learned really quickly how to structure things and what my options were on pricing and marketing and services. And so I kind of experimented a little bit, but when you mentioned lightning fast turnaround. So I work mostly in VIP-like weeks where we can really get this stuff done.
Brand and web up in like a matter of two weeks as opposed to the traditional four month timeline that people will give you. And so because of that, I'm able to work my services around my skill set versus just saying I offer all of these things I can be in every single platform which I don't. I pick and choose exactly where I'm the quickest and I know that my audience likes fast turnaround so it was really like a melding of my own wants and needs and their wants and needs which is the whole point of running a successful business is giving the people what they want but also being happy doing it.
So anyway working on this VIP structure gave me the ability to say, okay, well, if I book out a whole month and I do four of these, what does that look like financially? And it was like, whoa, that makes total sense. If I had the time to book out an entire month because you're home, then now we have way more than it. We are in abundance. And so at that point, if it's like, okay, if I want to take two weeks off or if we are traveling or like we're about to be in a family wedding and so we have to take that time. Like we have that flexibility now.
And so it was just a matter of like working the services and what that looks like around what lifestyle I wanted and basically what money and income we needed. But it was an experiment. So it's like not everyone can work necessarily on a VIP day. But does that mean that you know your goal is so many passive income downloads or so many one -on -one calls?
What does that look like in order to reach your goals?
And if you're like, "Well, I could hop on 52 one -on -one calls to reach my goal this month." Okay, you can, but does that feel good? Like, is that giving you the life that you wanted? And so what can we do to maybe switch that up, to maybe offer a service in a different way that offers you more freedom and more money at the same time?
Yeah, I love that advice of you have to serve your people and you have to know what your people want, but you also have to do what's feeling good for you and authentic for you. And I think that's something that a lot of people don't do. They feel like they're just having to offer everything because everybody else is offering it. And I don't know, I think when it's not aligned with you, it really just comes across, especially when you're on social media.
I feel like people can kind of sniff that out. And for you, I think you really resonate with people because it's so clear that you're being exactly who you are and you're so confident in what you're offering and what you're doing. And I think that's what people gravitate towards. They wanna work with somebody like that, right? And I really did not like doing one -to -one calls when I was first starting out. It was just so time consuming and it was so emotionally draining.
These parents that are coming to us are just exhausted and lots of times they've tried lots of other things so they're feeling really kind of hopeless and I feel for them so much but when I was also dealing with those things with my own small babies…. I was just like I was tapped out.I had no more capacity to give that deep emotional work that they needed. And so I stopped doing that, even though it was like a big source of my income at the time and I figured out a way to restructure it where I brought on consultants onto a team and now we offer it that way. And they're so, I mean, they're even better than me. Like they're so amazing at what they do. You're right, just kind of figuring out how to bring on the right people and be creative and only doing what's really serving you is in turn gonna serve your audience?
If you're like trying to figure out what that even looks like, the question I usually ask is like, what if this? And so putting like zero limitations on whatever it is, like stop thinking about,
oh, well, I can't do this because of that. So it's like, okay, what if I had for, you look like an angel by the way. (laughing) What if I had four extra hours to do something this week. And then in your brain, your brain, of course, because it's like there to help defend you against all these exterior things and fears and bad things happening, your brain's going to be like, "Oh, but you don't have four extra days.
You'd have to pay for childcare. You'd have to do all these things." And so when you write out like, "Well, what if I had four extra hours a day to do something? What if I had the financial resources to pay for child care. What if I had someone living near me close by? What if I like what if I had all these things that supported this lifestyle and then it's almost like oh shit I can I really could do this if I worked this a different angle and so it's just like opening your brain up and getting rid of all those limiting beliefs of whatever is in front of you and why you can't do something and your business will start to shape exactly how you want your life to work around it and with it.
I mean there's two things I'm thinking about when you're talking about that. One is that I think our mindset is so much more powerful than we want to give it credit for and you're right like we're always just thinking about that worst case scenario because that's to protect us right but if we can push through that and really work on our mindset. Like my husband and I have always been opposites when it comes to money. Like he is a very scarcity mindset where he's always worried about money, always freaking out that we don't have enough money, always freaking out about how we're gonna pay for things.
And I've been always the exact opposite, like not in a good way necessarily, but I'm always just like, the money will come, the money will be there, like we'll be fine, we'll figure it out, there's probably a healthy balance in there somewhere. But I do think that sometimes you have to take that leap and really get creative and figure out, no, wait, I can actually figure out how to make this work. I can do this. Instead of just, Oh, no, I can't do that. I can't afford that. I don't have enough time for that.
But the other piece that I was also thinking about is that there is an element of privilege to this, right? Like we have a support system, for example, my in-laws help us with lots of child care not so much anymore but when the kids were littler and Marley was working for sure um and so that definitely plays into it too. And I know you mentioned you have some support from your mother -in -law so I do just also want to acknowledge that there is a level of privilege sometimes that comes in but I would love to hear more of your kind of tips for anyone listening who is maybe a stay-at -home mom or they're stuck working a job that they're not passionate about, they want more time at home or they just want to, you know, kind of see their passion come to life. What are some things that you would tell them about getting started and kind of getting past that belief that they can't do it or they're not good enough or they don't have the time?
I think the term like messy action is probably overused, but it's really valid. And I think that's just a personality trait that I have as an eldest daughter and like in any of great theories, it's like how hard can it be, gene? And so I kind of just approach life that way and it's worked in my favor most of my life. And so I would tap into that gene or pretend like you have it when you go to look at what your life is.
Yeah, fake it 'til you make it.
Fake it 'til you make it. So that's one thing, is just like, just go for it, even if you don't necessarily have every single thing figured out, and be adaptable. Like, there is always another option, and again, a lot of times it's a better option than you could have anticipated. So I think being adaptable in things, you know, just like the Hawaii situation, it was like, I don't know what my plan is, but I'm going to put my two weeks in and see what happens. And it was like, OK, well, I guess I'm going to Hawaii with a job. That works. But yeah, so just lean into it all and do with the messy action and be adaptable through it.
But if you're a stay-at-home mom, I mean, it seems so intimidating to look at influencers who have this following and have everything figured out and just the business that looks like it's growing and booming and is perfect and tell ourselves that we're not good enough or we're not there and that's so not true. I mean, even coming on this podcast, I'll be honest, I was a little nervous because I don't have a huge following and I know vanity metrics mean like nothing now but that's still something that I know people look at and to me I could care less about the number of followers because I have a very engaged community.
I have a husband who is at home and we are blessed financially through this business and the follower account does not matter because of that and so I would also say to you I mean,
I know you have sleep consultants that I've also worked with on your team who have a thousand followers or less and it's all about what value you bring and that's it. If you can connect with your people, it does not matter how big of a fish you are in this pond. Like you can still make a huge difference here. So don't discount yourself.
It's so true and like social media is just one small piece. Like there are plenty of people who, especially now post COVID when there are more opportunities for stuff in real life. There are lots of people I know who have, you know, maybe a thousand or a couple thousand followers on Instagram, but that's not where they get the most of their business. They're out teaching classes or working with people one -on -one. They're getting referrals just through word of mouth. They don't even need, you know, social media to get their clients. They're just using,
You know, they're doing a great job, they're providing a great service, and then that person is going and telling their network to work with them.
So I think one reason why I love you too is that you do have, it's such a good example of having such an engaged audience,making a full -time income, and then some, and you know, not needing a half a million or a million followers. That really doesn't mean anything anymore. So I love that you said that and also just the piece of like it always looks like people have it all figured out behind the scenes and we don't.
Like I won't be the first to tell you you know my business very well, you know that there are a lot of holes in my business there are lots of things that I could be doing should be doing, like no business out there is absolutely perfect… and I also started with 20 people watching my stories and like three of them were my mom and my sisters and…
I think people forget that.
I just know of course and like I didn't I don't think I got to a thousand until I was doing it for at least seven or eight months like it it was a very slow burn at first even a thousand probably seems like a lot and like super intimidating to some people but you really do have to just start and you have to show up every single day acting like there's thousands of people watching and acting like you do have something important to say and you do have something that they need to hear.
Someone painted the picture of like, when you look at your story view numbers or whatever, and maybe it's five or maybe it's 20 or maybe it's 200, whatever it is. But it's like, if you had a brick and mortar store and you had five or 20 or 200 people walk into your store and you know, watch you talk about your business or like, that would be huge. That would be a lecture, so it's like, um, So it seems like just this blip on the radar because it's this little number in the bottom of our phone screen, but it's really a major impact.
And think about your services, back to services for one second, but if you only need a handful, five people to sign on as clients or work with you this month, and you have five people watching your stories, what looks like you have a perfect opportunity right there to book your month out. So it's like you really don't need as much as you think you need.
Yeah, oh my gosh, this is such a good way to think about it because I think those numbers do get really discouraging for people sometimes and it does feel like the markets, certain niches especially are super saturated now but like you said earlier, there really is room for everyone and you have such a unique point of view no matter what you're talking about, like nobody can say it Nobody has your life experience. Nobody has, you know, the exact same words as you. So there really is room for everyone. We're gonna take a quick break there. And when we come back, I would love to talk a little bit more about how you're doing as a working mom now and mom guilt will be right back.
Okay, we are back with my friend, Tori. And so in the last year or so, you've kind of switched to being this full -time working mom and you're also home, which is so wonderful, but so hard at the same time, because it feels like we should always be available to our kids simply because we're home, but we're working. So I would love to hear-- - You cannot drown out the yell from downstairs.
Yeah, no, exactly. That's why I built this little shed back here and I can still hear them sometimes. Yeah, we built like a little she shed. It's amazing. It's amazing. It's in our backyard.
The kids have kind of figured out that I am back here. So like when I first started coming back here, Marley would just tell them I was going on a walk. And then one day, Noe saw the light on and was like, is mommy out there?
And so now my cover has been blown. But it is, it is so nice to have like a separate space to get away to because up until this point, I was just always working Either during their naps or after bedtime or on the weekends. Most usually all three…. super hard. So I'd love to hear how that's been going for you working from home while also being a mom.
Yeah, so it's obviously changed a little bit recently and it will change again as school ends literally tomorrow, but I'm literally set up in the playroom. My desk is in the playroom because John was still at work and so I was the one at home and Rowan is at public school at this time. But I was like, if I need to be able to do a power hour of some sort, luckily my kids are at the age now. I have lived through the nap time, open your laptop life, but currently they can entertain themselves for at least an hour. And so I was like, I would rather just be up here while they're playing with the play kitchen or putting on dresses and so we put my desk up here and I love it like I love it I feel like I'm still a part of the action and honestly I don't ever want to hide work from them I want them to see especially because it's two girls like I want them to see that exactly what our business looks like that they can do this too if they want to they are not stuck in any career path they are not stuck in any gender role.
And so I want them to be able to see what work looks like for other people beyond service providers or not service providers, first responders, you know, my family is full of teachers and nurses and stuff like that. So that's one piece of the puzzle, but my mother -in -law living nearby was also a huge help for a long time and still is now. So when we would drop Rowan off at school in the morning, we would drop Hazel off at my mother -in -laws right next to the school at the very same time. And so eight to two, they were gone, which felt like this gigantic breath of fresh air. Like I could breathe, like, but at the same time, when two o 'clock came around, I was like, "I've got nothing done, I could work for so much longer."
So it just, the more the business grew, the more time I felt like I needed, and that's when I started to need to reevaluate things. But my mother-in-law is a massive, massive help. And so when we transition to homeschool next year, we have worked out an agreement that she will take the girls from nine to five, two days a week. So John and I still have alone time twice a week. We have designated quiet time for work. We have the ability to go to the gym together. We just, that's a value that we hold.
And so we will, if my mother-in-law was not here, we would find some way to make extra money to pay for someone to help us in that scenario. Because I feel like having time to ourselves is just totally needed. And the mom guilt was totally there. Like it was when we lived with my mother-in-law, when we moved from Hawaii because there were, that was when the housing market totally exploded and there were zero houses on Zillow. So we moved here with the whole intention of buying a house pretty quickly and moving in. We were with my mother-in-law for over nine months.
And so I built this business in her sunroom because I mean, living with someone who you're not used to living to, it's nothing against my mother-in-law at all. It's just like, you're not living in your home. You're all crammed in one room. It's just not comfortable. And so I escaped to the sunroom and built this business. So I am thankful for it in that regard. But I remember waking up. Hazel was not even one yet.
So I remember waking up and just being like, "Okay, Oma, can you take her? I'll do breakfast, but can you take her for like an hour and a half, two hours, and then I'll do lunch, do lunch and then I'll do nap and then John'll be home and then when the girls go to bed I'll do work again and so it took it was like so hard maybe it was my pride may I don't know I feel like a lot of times we feel like we have to prove that we're like doing it all and can do it all really well and we're really like hating life and struggling but it was everything for me to ask her to watch her for two hours.
And I felt like such a burden, like we're already living at your house and now I'm asking you to watch my kid and you know, it just felt hard to ask for help. But that was the hardest part and now it's been so much easier. And it's like, can we go drop my kids off at my parents in Kentucky for a week and us go on a vacation? Like it's almost like you get so used to it that you're like, how can I escape and go to boarding school myself for a year?
What else could we get away with it?
What can we get into today? Um, so it's like, yeah, it's like, what does this look like and that's a limiting belief when we talk about like, what if, and it's like, what if you weren't scared to ask for help? Like, what if, um, you could put aside, you know, a couple hundred dollars and not maybe do something else this month and You know spent it on child care so that you could work in your business to then have a greater ROI. Like what does that look like- support?
It is so hard for us to ask for. But if I didn't have support, we would not be here like we would not be here. I would be straight struggling. And so I'm thankful for every ounce of support that we get and again I do fully acknowledge as well that it is a privilege to have her nearby.
But I do also have a client and a friend who she specifically booked a membership at this gym who has childcare for a maximum of two hours a day. And she will sometimes go work out for 30 minutes. But then she's like the other hour and a half, I'm literally running it down to the very second. I am sitting there and I am going to answer some emails. I'm going to do some admin tasks or I'm going to read my book today and not do a thing. Like I'm gonna take my me time and not feel bad about it because it's literally a part of this package that is supporting me and I am accepting that. So I think there's ways.
I love that. I feel like that's such an underused hack. The gym childcare, we did it with Otto a few times, probably not enough, but I was teaching yoga when he was little still. And so we would go to the gym, Marley would come to my yoga class, I would teach, and then we would like shower and just like chill for a minute while he was in a gym child care. Yeah, and like, Noe was a COVID baby, so we didn't have that option with her, and she was definitely more attached. I don't know that we would have been able to just like drop her somewhere new. I think it's, you know, all this stuff totally depends on your family and the temperaments of your kids and stuff. But if your kid is cool with something like that, use it. Like use whatever you have available to you. And like you said, don't be afraid to ask for help. My husband still gets on me about that. Like he will have no problem going to drop the kids at his mom's or asking her to come over and watch the baby so he can go to the gym. I would have never done that. Like I, my mother-in-law also is 10 minutes away and so is my father-in-law and my brother-in-law. And like we have tons of support and it's still so hard for me to ask.
I feel guilty. I feel like when I'm not working, I should be with the kids. Yeah, but I also love what you said though about how you love working near your girls and letting them see this is what I'm doing. Like you can do this too. And I think so many people are made to feel guilty for using their phones in front of their kids or working in front of their kids or not giving their kids their undivided attention 24/7. And they feel guilty for that but really you're kind of giving them this gift of like no look what you can do this is amazing I love that.
Yeah and the reframe here too whether you're a homeschool parent or not like we are gonna take this as an opportunity to use this as business class essentially for Rowan. So this will be business class but also she has watched me, she sat here and has watched me design and now has a very very strong interest in design and art, which she's always been artistic. But so there will be times where she gets to hop on and she just plays in all the Adobe programs.
And so it's like, okay, there are positives to working in front of your kids, even besides just like showing that work is a normal part of life and it can look different, but what can you teach them? Like it's just like being in the kitchen, like it can be really annoying to have kids in the kitchen sometimes, but isn't it so fun when you say, grab your stool, let's make some pizza.
Let's, you know, let me show you what to do. And then it becomes this like whole different experience than like just get out of the kitchen so I can do it real quick. Um, how can we take them like along for the ride?
And maybe that's also your child care. If you are separating work and being with the kids, like work and being a mom, what does it look like to put them together? Could you work at the dining room table while they do magna tiles on the floor or build a fort or do chalk outside?
Work can look different and it's okay.
Yeah, 100%. I mean, like you were talking about at the beginning, I built my entire business while my baby slept on top of me, like the entire thing. Marley has so many photos of me like going through my certification course, like being on Zoom with her strapped my chest or, you know, working on my phone or computer and doing all of my stories, creating all of my posts with one hand because she was sleeping on me and like nursing on the other side. Like it's definitely not easy. I don't think either of us would say that it is an easy thing to do and it's definitely not for everybody, but it is possible if it's something you're so, if it's something you're super, super passionate about too. Like I am so passionate about this that it doesn't even feel like work to me most of the time.
No.
And I think that really helps too.
I love it. (laughs) I love, yeah. And I think that's the thing. If it feels too hard, something needs to change in your business as you're growing it. Like work, you will have tough times, obviously, like growing pains, but if it feels hard and you're not enjoying something, something needs to change for sure.
Yeah, 100%. Tori, this has been such a fun convo. I love getting to talk to you in person. We are so connected on Instagram that whenever we get to chat, it's just so fun. I really appreciate you taking the time to be here today. I really hope and I think that you will inspire so many other people that are listening, whether you are already a business owner or you're just kind of getting started or you're wanting to get started. I think you gave so many great nuggets of advice so I hope people will hop over and follow you 'cause you also, you do the branding and the design but you also talk so much about this, like about how to build your brand, how to reach your people, how to show up on social media. Like you talk about all of this stuff so I think you're such an amazing person to follow if people are interested in stuff like this,
and just showing the behind the scenes of working from home with kids. I also love that. So where can people find you? Where can people find your resources and where can they follow you?
Yes, @torisprankel on Instagram, or torisprankel.com, and that is a really hard last name to spell. So I'm sure it will be in the show notes.
Well, I promise I'll link everything.
I joke that you can choose who you fall in love with but you cannot choose your last name. So that is where you can find me and I love a voice memo on Instagram so please hit me up there. Again, I just love connecting with the community and that is a huge thing. I look at every single DM, I write back in every comment so I really appreciate any connection.
So awesome. Thank you so much for being such a great support for women and for moms. We love you.
Have a great rest of your day.
You're welcome. Thank you.
